What did we do before cell phones?

Probably something dangerous

Quick note before we dive in: this one is from the archives. I’ve dusted it off and brought it back because Past Tony was already worrying about nostalgia, technology, and the lies we tell ourselves about “simpler times.” ~ T.

If I see one more column, meme, or bathroom-wall manifesto lamenting the good old days before cell phones, I’m going to scream.

You know the ones I mean. They’ve got titles like:

• “What Did People Do Before Cell Phones?”
• “How Cell Phones Are Sucking Away Your Soul (and Probably Your Childhood Memories)”
• “One Crazy Reason to Toss Your Phone and Go Back to Smoke Signals”

I’m half-expecting the next one to be “Why Carrier Pigeons Were the Real Influencers.”

Let me save you some time. I’ll tell you what we did before cell phones — or mobile phones, for my UK friends. We read newspapers. We listened to music. We scribbled notes in notebooks. We stared out the window and daydreamed. We occasionally got lost and, brace yourself, asked for directions.