Friday, January 31, 2014

Slice of Life


INT. JO'S CAR - DAY

We pull up to a red-light. Outside the passenger window is a small, church-owned graveyard. Snow is covering some of the graves.

JO
 (THOUGHFUL) What would you tell a child if they asked you if the people in the ground were cold?

TONY 
I would say 'of course not. The worms ate them a long time ago.'

JO
(THAT ONE EYE-BROW RAISED LOOK) 
That's what you would tell a child?

TONY 
I mean--I would say the coffins were very well insulated so the corp--people were warm.

JO
I would tell a child the people were in heaven where God has warm blanket for everyone.

TONY
Which is why I write horror and you don't.

Saturday, January 11, 2014

Sometimes I Dream

Alfred called me because Batman had gone missing. He gave me the choice of Steven Moffat, William Shatner or Dick Chaney (!) to help me find him. Chaney said he was too old to go into the field but he would use his CIA connections to help me find him. Shatner said only if he got top billing and no-one talked about Star Trek. Bree Turner (Grimm) was the plucky reporter who was trying to find out if Batman was really missing (it was kept hush-hush at the request of Commissioner Gordon) and became my assistant. The villain was, surprisingly not Dick Chaney, but a guy who used to work at AT&T (Shyam).